


I Might Need You To Hold My Hand

by Riddikulus42



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Cute, Fluff, Forehead Kisses, Missing Scene, Multi, Napping, OT3, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Kissing, Platonic Male/Male Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-12 22:47:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5683915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riddikulus42/pseuds/Riddikulus42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey takes some time to think things through, Poe opens up about his feelings, and Finn does very little but plays a big role.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Might Need You To Hold My Hand

Rey is tired. Rey is so tired and there is so much she needs to do and her body is telling her she should still be moving, should be fighting. She’s been still for so long, for her whole life on Jakku, and now suddenly she can't imagine sitting still or waiting ever again.

Except for right now, because instead of flinging herself forward she's sitting by Finn’s bed and willing every fiber of her being to be still. She promised herself this. When she saw him go down, when she heard the horrible sizzle of his skin, she promised she wouldn’t leave him. She can't get the image of him falling out of her mind. All the stories of lightsaber battles she's heard since she was little, none of them had prepared her for this. For a friend's seared and scarred skin, for a beeping machine telling her that he was okay, but barely. She promised she'd make sure he survived, and now that he was doing that she’d given herself the night. She’s promised to watch him until the next morning and then she would make her decision. She isn't exactly sure yet what choices she's going to allow herself, but she knows her ability to be still will not last past this night, nor will her resolve.

Rey is sitting sideways on a cot, facing Finn’s bed, so she doesn't notice Poe until he sits beside her on the cot. She didn't hear him come into the room, but she tries to not let on how startled she is. Her thoughts had been racing as she calculated the decision before her.

“How’s our boy?” He asks as way of greeting, and although she's been startled Rey likes immediately that he whispers even though there's no need. Although Finn looks peaceful, his sleep is the deeper sleep of those in serious trouble. No voice could wake him. Surely Poe knows that, but he whispers anyway.

“Our boy is stable” she replies, also in a hushed voice. “But it makes me feel better to watch him just in case.” Rey isn't sure why she’s shared that private thought until Poe nods in agreement and she realizes they're both here for the same thing.

Poe breaths out a heavy breath and Rey finds again that his gesture makes her happy, knowing that he also feels the strain of what has happened to them on his whole body. Rey has been in survival mode for her entire life, but even in the depths of despair and near starvation on Jakku she never felt tired like this. She's cleaned up and changed her ragged clothes but the feeling of whole-body exhaustion, as well as rage, still fill her. Her muscles ache and her mouth still tastes the shadows of sand and snow and oil and blood.

As if sensing her distress, Poe readjusts how he's sitting, giving Rey more room. He looks back to Finn and his mouth works like he's going to say something, but he stops short a few times.

“What's wrong?” Rey finally asks after Poe makes a weird choking noise for the second time, dislodging her from her looping thoughts and impending decision.

“Nothing. Nothing's wrong.” He says in the way that a person who feels like everything is wrong would say. Rey knows because his voice sounds like her heart feels.

Rey gives him a pointed look and Poe folds almost immediately. “I just… I thought he was _dead_ so many times." Rey is somewhat taken aback by how open Poe is being all of a sudden, but she stays quiet and he continues, "In the last week, in the last day... I don't know how he's still here. And it’s stupid because people I’ve known for years are gone today, and… and I barely know him but...” Poe’s voice cracks and now it's Rey’s turn to readjust, moving her body so that it is open, facing towards Poe, but still aligned with Finn. It seems rude to close him off from the conversation, even if he can’t hear it.

Poe closes his eyes, and somehow that seems to make it easier on him. “This is so stupid” he says again, “But… I rescued him.” Poe sighs deeply, as if chiding himself. “Really he rescued me but REALLY we would have been sunk without each other and… And I gave him that stupid name and he kept it. He kept it and he kept my jacket and he completed my mission and no one’s ever wanted to help me that much and now…” Poe drifts off, but Rey understands.

“Now we can't do anything for him but watch him sleep” she says. Poe nods, his shoulders lose in resignation. They fall into a not uncomfortable silence for a while, watching the monitors. At some point Poe reaches over the cot and takes hold of Finn's hand, and at that point it seems natural for Rey to take Poe’s. Rey has never felt that anything came to her naturally, much less hand holding, so she is shocked when suddenly Poe’s large warm hand is in her’s. She almost laughs, remembering her and Finn’s daring escape on Jakku, how he kept grabbing her hand. She feels a pang of guilt for telling him not to.

Rey drifts off on these thoughts and wakes a few hours later with a crick in her neck. Poe has slumped over, hand still holding Finn’s. As she starts to rise from where she fell asleep on his shoulder he stirs as well. He looks confused for a moment, but when he sees her he smiles, and Rey is surprised to find that she's sad when he gets up to leave. 

Without him to lean on, Rey falls gently against the cot and almost falls asleep again that instant. Her exhaustion is going to get the better of her, she realizes. She isn’t going to see Finn though the night. She starts to protest, but realizes Poe is standing over her, and she is surprised again as he leans down and kisses her very gently on the forehead. Too sleepy to protest, Rey does nothing. Poe slips out of the room, and the next thing Rey knows it's morning. Nothing has changed, but she knows the answer to the question that wasn't clear the night before. She's made her decision.

After she gathers herself, Rey hesitates for a moment. Her path and her choices seem so obvious now, as opposed to last night. But leaving Finn still feels wrong, edged in fog while her other choices are sharp and clear. There's no changing events, Rey decides, and the story has to move forward. No more waiting.

At the last moment, Rey leans down and gives Finn the same kiss that Poe had given her. She’s never kissed anyone before now, but she knows it’s correct, even if Finn can’t feel it. She's not sure, now that daylight has sharpened her, if Poe’s kiss was a dream or a memory, but she knows that’s also right. “We’ll meet again” she says to Finn. She knows it's true, and for now that's enough. 


End file.
